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 on: February 10, 2011, 11:24:01 am 
Started by BTDM - Last post by POPM
 Grin clap hands  Grin

 on: February 09, 2011, 10:24:20 am 
Started by BTDM - Last post by BTDM
Terror Alerts

From the BBC - by John Cleese.

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend", and "The barbie is cancelled."

 on: December 06, 2010, 05:12:54 pm 
Started by Frank - Last post by Frank
This topic has been moved to JOKES.


 on: August 11, 2010, 06:40:43 pm 
Started by Frank - Last post by Frank
Now Girls.....Play nice.

 on: August 11, 2010, 12:01:30 pm 
Started by Frank - Last post by BTDM
I did.

Look it up. You will learn something new.

 on: July 28, 2010, 05:03:11 pm 
Started by Frank - Last post by trevorwells
Did you say "INTELLIGENT"

 on: July 21, 2010, 02:20:25 pm 
Started by Frank - Last post by BTDM

You have permission to read other than your own posts, BTDM. Roll Eyes

Why should I? I don't have time to waste (shoes to polish; drill to perfect; beer to drink). If I want something intelligent, I will read my own posts.

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